Recently I have been reading and hearing a lot about domestic violence. Domestic violence appeared shortly after sin entered the world. Cain murdered his brother Abel in Genesis 4:8. Until the mid-1980’s and early 1990’s, marital therapists and mental-health professionals generally ignored the problem of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence or intimate partner violence (IPV) is a pattern of rage and violence used as a means of control and conflict resolution by one spouse against the other. It often follows a three-step pattern –
- Tension builds until the abuser loses control
- Battering occurs. Often the batterer feels that the victim deserved it and needs to be taught a lesson.
- Remorse. The batterer is sorry and asks for forgiveness and reconciliation. This looks a lot like repentance – usually because the tension is gone. When tension returns, the battering can and probably will return. (Clinton & Trent, 2009)
Domestic violence is fueled by the batterer’s need to control. Biblical headship as taught in the Bible is based on love and servant leadership, not on a husband’s control over his wife or on physical coercion.
Many Christian women have been taught that they should never leave their husband at all. They are taught that this is not being submissive to him, and therefore disobeying Scripture. Scripture does not teach that a Christian woman should continually submit herself to an abusive man - separation for safety is a must.
Over the next couple of days, I would like to share some statistics and Scriptural Applications dealing with this important issue. I hope that you will prayerfully muse over this information, and pray for those who are involved in this.
Clinton, T., & Trent, J. (2009). Marriage and Family Counseling -quick reference guide. Grand Rapids, MI, USA: Baker Books.