Domestic Violence - Scriptural Applications #3

Today we will muse over a few final Scriptural Applications - I encourage you to search and develop other passages dealing with this issue.

Safety for the abused is a priority and is a validated concern of those who are aware of the issues. The writer of Proverbs 27:12 said - "A sensible person sees danger and takes cover; the inexperienced keep going and are punished." It is ALWAYS a reasonable action to remove the victim(s) from the abuser to a place of safety. A counselor should never instruct a person to return and place herself under subjection to one who is abusing them or their family.

Many times an outside authority is needed to intervene for the victim(s). If the abuser is a member of a local church, they should follow Matthew 18: 15 - 17. It should then become a responsibility of the Church leaders to respond in a timely and competent manner to the issue.

Finally, it is imperative that abusers experience the consequences of their actions. They should not be protected for their sinful behavior. God tells us in Galatians 6:7 that we reap what we sow. God has placed civil and religious authorities in place to protect victims of abuse (Acts 22: 24 - 29). A person with violent tendencies will continue as long as they get away with it. The writer of Proverbs stated in 19:19 - "A person with great anger bears the penalty; if you rescue him, you’ll have to do it again."

Finally, consider that Moses reacted in anger when he struck the rock twice and it cost him - Numbers 20:10 - 12. Listen to what God told him in verse 12 - "But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust Me to show My holiness in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this assembly into the land I have given them.”

Over the last week we have looked at a hard and very unpleasant situation - Domestic Violence. It has grown in our country and is evident from celebrities to the homeless. It is something that all believers should be aware of, pray over, and seek to be voices to end the suffering of the many silent victims of this sinful behavior.

Domestic Violence - Scriptural Applications #2

Ephesians 4:26 - "Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger...."

Yesterday we pondered the Scriptural application that Domestic Violence is always a sin and abusive speech is never an acceptable way to communicate according to God's Word.

Today, we will consider two other truths that the Bible wants us to understand when it comes to Intimate Partner Violence.

First, let us realize that the Bible makes it clear that violence is never justified - even when it is provoked. We are responsible to respond with wisdom, clarity, and restraint. Paul reminds us in the Ephesian passage above that we are allowed to be angry - but we are not to sin in this anger. Jesus in Luke 6:45 spoke these words - "A good man produces good out of the good storeroom of his heart. An evil man produces evil out of the evil storeroom, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart." When we react with violence we show what is inside of us - what is on the shelves in our storeroom. The old adage - "What is down in the well comes up in the bucket" is based on this. A person who reacts with anger is in actuality an angry person.

The second muse today is that the Bible teaching on leadership in the home does not give the husband unlimited power over his wife. He does not have the right to remove her choices, or to have his own way with her at any time. Consider what Jesus taught His disciples as far as power and authority - Mark 10:42 - 45 - "Jesus called them over and said to them, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and their men of high positions exercise power over them. But it must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be a slave to all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life —a ransom for many." To be powerful - one must be a servant or slave to the ones they are around.

Paul spoke to this in Ephesians 5. In verses 1 and 2 we read - "Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God." And Paul makes this application to the husband/wife relationship in verses 21 - 29 - a passage often misused to describe male domination over a woman - "submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church...." Notice - it says to submit one to another. Also muse over the fact that wives are to submit to the husband like the church submits to Christ. Husbands are to love their wives to the point of dying for them. what woman wouldn't submit to a man who is will to die for her.

Tomorrow we will muse over the final Scriptural Applications we are going to make dealing with DV and IPV.

 

Domestic Violence - Scriptural Applications #1

Psalm 11:5 (HCSB) - "The Lord examines the righteous and the wicked. He hates the lover of violence."

The Bible makes it very clear that any form of domestic violence is a sin before God. The author of the Psalm above - believed to be David - speaks out that God hates those who loves (is a friend to) violence is hated by God. Now, this is not speaking to a person's salvation, it does speak to the fact that anyone who is a friend to violence is at odds with God. Their relationship is one that is strained. The word in Hebrew for violence is châmâs and means violence, wrong, cruelty, or injustice.

Other passages that point out that domestic violence is a sin and cannot be condoned or accepted in any fashion would include (all HCSB):

Malachi 2: 16 - 17 - "“If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously. You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you ask, “How have we wearied Him?” When you say, “Everyone who does what is evil is good in the Lord’s sight, and He is pleased with them,” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Colossians 3:19 - "Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them."

And in this vein, abusive speech is never an acceptable way to communicate - consider these verses -

1 Corinthians 5:11 - "But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer who is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or verbally abusive, a drunkard or a swindler. Do not even eat with such a person."

Colossians 3:8 - "But now you must also put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth."

Take some time today to muse over the fact that DV is a sin in God's eyes. God has never - and will never - condone any form of IPV or DV.

Tomorrow, let us ponder and muse over the facts that violence is never justified and that the husband is the head of the household - but not with unlimited power.

DV - IPV Statistics

We are musing over the vital issue of Domestic Violence - Intimate Partner Violence that has been in the news, and has garnered attention recently. Yesterday we considered the fact that it traces back to the first family - Cain and Abel and the fratricide that was the first sinful result listed following the fall of man in the Garden. Today, I would like to share some stats on the extent of this sinful act.

• Every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted of beaten in the United States.
• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family.
• Domestice Violence is the leading cause of injury to women - more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestice violence annually.
• Evry day in the United States, more than three women are murdered by their huisbands or boyfriends.
• Domestic Violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the United States alone - the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
• The costs of Intimate Partner Violence in the United States alone exceed $5.8 billion per year, $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services. The remainder is productivity losses of nearly $1.8 billion.
• Men who as children witnessed their parents' Domestic Violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

As we ponder these facts today, let us lift our hearts and voices to God on behalf of those caught up in this horrible sin. We need to pray for the victims - and their abusers. We need to seek God to intervene in the many situations going on around us. Join me in prayer today for the many who are hurting, the many who are causing the hurt, and those who are forced to watch this hurt.

DV - IPV Background

Recently I have been reading and hearing a lot about domestic violence. Domestic violence appeared shortly after sin entered the world. Cain murdered his brother Abel in Genesis 4:8. Until the mid-1980’s and early 1990’s, marital therapists and mental-health professionals generally ignored the problem of domestic violence. 

Domestic Violence or intimate partner violence (IPV) is a pattern of rage and violence used as a means of control and conflict resolution by one spouse against the other. It often follows a three-step pattern – 

1. Tension builds until the abuser loses control 
2. Battering occurs. Often the batterer feels that the victim deserved it and needs to be taught a lesson. 
3. Remorse. The batterer is sorry and asks for forgiveness and reconciliation. This looks a lot like repentance – usually because the tension is gone. When tension returns, the battering can and probably will return. (Clinton & Trent, 2009) 

Domestic violence is fueled by the batterer’s need to control. Biblical headship as taught in the Bible is based on love and servant leadership, not on a husband’s control over his wife or on physical coercion. 

Many Christian women have been taught that they should never leave their husband at all. They are taught that this is not being submissive to him, and therefore disobeying Scripture. Scripture does not teach that a Christian woman should continually submit herself to an abusive man - separation for safety is a must.

Over the next couple of days, I would like to share some statistics and Scriptural Applications dealing with this important issue. I hope that you will prayerfully muse over this information, and pray for those who are involved in this. 

Clinton, T., & Trent, J. (2009). Marriage and Family Counseling -quick reference guide. Grand Rapids, MI, USA: Baker Books.